I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
