He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
There's always time for handjobs
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
