I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
