He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
