And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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