And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
