i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
