I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Less talking, more tequila
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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