you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
