explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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