If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
