How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
