Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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