I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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