the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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