its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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