Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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