tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
