please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
