oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
