I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
