There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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