Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
