Fine. I'll sleep in my office
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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