I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
