normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
