just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
