how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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