she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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