Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
