IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
