My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
