dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I smell stomach acid.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
