thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
