How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
3pm strippers are depressing
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
