i wish peter jackson would direct porn
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
