They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
