the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just want nice things and good sex
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
