I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
