I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
3 2 1 whiskey
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize