What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
