He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
