So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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