Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
