i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
