I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
