The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
tonight lets celebrate not being married
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
