Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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