I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
