Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize