We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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