brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
