Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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