I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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