And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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