We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
