I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
