Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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