he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
