When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
