what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
babies were throwing up all over the place
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
