I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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