you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
