If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
