He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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