it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
