I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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