This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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