If i come over, it means nothing
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
